Thursday, March 21, 2013

Scene I Wrote For Mid-Program Evaluation.

So, at my University, folks in the acting/directing and technical/stagecraft sides of things have a mid-program evaluation to see what, if any, help they need. Of course, being on the acting/directing side of things, I have to do a scene. My partner is female and VERY capable... SO I wrote this scene in case she might want to use it, and I'd like to get feedback from you guys. There is a LOT of language, so beware. If you are offended by language, I would suggest that you NOT read this. Just saying. Save yourself the time and save me having to hear that you lost respect for me because of my foul mind/mouth. That said, I may clean the language up a little (lol) and tweak a few things before it is actually performed, if ever. Enough talk, lol. Enjoy!

                                                                 Fix Or Repair Daily


          AUDREY sits on the stage, possibly tapping a foot
          or looking at her watch. She is waiting.
          FORD finally comes onstage. Tie askew, a little
          sweaty maybe, looking worse for the wear.
AUDREY
     Well? You do it?
FORD
     Yeah. Yeah I did it.
AUDREY
     He’s dead?
          beat. Ford just sits there, staring.
     Hallelujah! Oh happy fucking day! Feedom!
FORD
     Really? I’m glad I wasn’t married to you. He seemed
     like a nice guy. A real man. A real standup fella. It’s
     makin’ me question myself, you know. Making me rethink
     my vocation...
AUDREY
               (Rising.)
     You did me a service, big fella. You did the world
     good. Henry was okay, but nobody’ll miss him. Nobody at
     all.
FORD
     Nobody? What about the little girl that was plastered
     all over the walls? That he had a wallet full of
     pictures of? What about her? Is she nobody?
AUDREY
     She’s young, and strong like her mommy. She’ll forget
     the dead weight.
FORD
     "Dead weight". Fuck. That makes it even worse. So she
     IS his kid? He has a fucking child? I not only killed a
     man, shot him in the head as he said, "If it’s my time,
     bud, go ahead and shoot. The Lord gives and He takes
     away. I’m at peace. I hope you can be someday. Here’s
     my wallet. Don’t want you to get into the blood after I
     go down. It’ll help you get away. I hope you can start
     a new life at the expense of mine." Then he just smiled
     this fucking benign smile like he fucking loved me.
     Like he fucking understood. I not only killed that dude
     that seemed like he would have been the kind of guy
     that’d invite me over for a barbecue and hand me an ice
     cold beer as I walked into the fucking door and he
     steered me to a seat in front of the big screen or the
     pool or whatever the fuck I was into, no, I didn’t only
     destroy one of the last men left in this country, I
     destroyed a childhood you fucking selfish cunt. (It’s
     obvious AUDREY is about to lose her cool somehow at
     this point.) For what? Some alligator-tear havin bitch
     with a few grand and a smile. Fuck you. Truly fuck you
     in the...
AUDREY
     Listen you bleeding-heart Lifetime-movie-sounding
     bastard, you don’t know what I’ve went through. You
     don’t know how hard I have worked and for how long.
     Fucking keeping his clothes washed and his dinner
     cooked, fucking wiping that brats snot-nose while all
     he ever did was dote on her. "Thanks, Aud, you’re the
     best. Now I am going to go spend the rest of the
     fucking night playing castles and princesses with this
     little booger-farmer while you are left alone to watch
     HBO movies where men actually care if their women are
     satisfied and fantisize about some fat, sweaty piece of
     shit coming in here and shooting me in my faggot head."
     You don’t know what it’s like to go from being
     someone’s world to their second best because of some
     little parasite that he squirted into me and I birthed
     and nursed. Fuck him. May he fucking rot, and my
     daughter not grow up to be some idealistic little
     puss-bag who stands there and tells their killer how
     they’re gonna fucking pray for him or
     what-the-fuck-ever. No. No. Fuck you, you simple minded
     fuck. Fuck you for trying to make me feel bad about
     this. (Pulls out a fat envelope. Tosses it at Ford’s
     face.) Here you poor, sad, son-of-a-bitch. Go buy
     yourself a bottle, a burger, and a whore. That’s what
     your type wants right? That’s all you want. Or did you
     expect me to kiss your fucking feet? Did you expect me
     to cry and fucking bow before you like I owed you my
     life and to be sad for my poor dead fucking husband.
     "My heeeeero!" Well, this ain’t the movies, And I’m
     finally getting what I deserve, Chevy, or Buick, or
     whatever fucking car you’re named after. Grow a pair
     and the fuck up, then maybe you can graduate from hired
     gun goon to drug pusher you peice of filth. (AUDREY
     turns and walks away.)
          
          FORD pulls a pistol from his suit, points it at
          AUDREY’s retreating head.

FORD
     Hey. Look at me. I don’t shoot people in the back.
     (AUDREY turns. Looking at the gun, she freezes.)
AUDREY
     Think about what you are doing! Think about my baby! I
     have a child! Where will she go? What will she do?
     Everything I said was... (He pulls back the hammer
     which stops her cold.)
FORD
     Save your breath, bitch. Your baby’ll be perfectly
     happy with her daddy who loves her. (AUDREY begins to
     question him. He talks over her) She’ll remember her
     mommy fondly instead of as the bitch she was. And she
     will become a idealistic little puss-bag and hopefully
     make a difference in this world. As I have decided to.
     You’re right, you are getting what you deserve. (He
     fires one shot right into her head. He begins to walk
     offstage past her as she is dying.) By the way, my name 
     is Ford. Ford. Remember that. 

Thanks for reading! Jesus loves you and so do I. (Yes. I am a foul-mouthed "hypocrite" for typing His name after something with such LANGUAGE... *sigh* )